I am a 34 year old man. I do not have a formal dystonia diagnosis. I never sought one out because it’s a useless pursuit, as I’m not interested in the available therapies that don’t address the root cause of the problem. I do, however, suffer from spasms in many different parts of my body. They are particularly strong in my head and neck, around my lower spine, pelvic area and inner legs. They are painful, and cause a myriad of other symptoms, including hyperacusis and strong intestinal dysmotility: I have a hard time having normal bowel movements because everything is so strongly contracted in my belly area. My symptoms are very debilitating. They prevent me from living a normal life, and have forced me to leave my career in music.

 

It all was unleashed in 2019 when a dentist shaved down (shortened) my teeth in order to, supposedly, help with the cervical pain I was suffering from at the time. A series of neuromuscular compensations started immediately thereafter, and I have tried to find my way back ever since.

 

I began microdosing while carefully working to balance my cranial nerves under the guidance of my health coach who, himself, made incredible progress with these techniques. I immediately noticed that I was much better able to feel the patterns of how my brain was inhabiting my body and how my occlusion was impacting the spasms. In other words, my interoception was immediately potentiated. I was also better able to feel what I could do to have access to the spasms and release them: change my occlusal balance with appliances and other tools, place my tongue differently, breathe differently, speak differently etc. I was thrilled! 

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I later safely and carefully explored somewhat higher doses, always with lots of preparation, integration and support. These experiences gave me access to my body in ways that just wouldn’t have been possible without the mushrooms. I could release spasms, awaken hypotonic pathways, and create new, more functional patterns in the body. All of this would be unthinkable with the existing tools of Western medicine. And I know what I am talking about as I have been around the block! 

 

Another front on which the mushrooms greatly helped is the psychological one, and especially its somatic manifestations. When my life was suddenly upended by that dental intervention four years ago, I was confronted with lots of depression, anxiety and plain old grief. Much of this showed up as more tension in the body, lots of resistance, and catastrophic thinking. I wanted to resolve everything immediately, and whenever I was unable to do so, I would feel like a failure and become even more depressed. 

 

During the mushroom trips I was able to realize that much of that thinking was, as my coach says, ‘real but not true’. I was able to soften more and more around these thoughts and avoid creating more tension for myself. I could, instead, welcome the pain and hold it compassionately. I was less afraid of the unknown, and I could accept the journey of healing in front of me. I could surrender more, all the while working hard on my recovery. 

 

I was also able to reach the ‘blockages’ in the neuromuscular system where old trauma was stored, and I increasingly learned to release it. This embodied, psycho-emotional aspect of my healing continues to be of fundamental importance. I am now much more aware and lucid around the whole recovery project, and much less caught up in catastrophizing thought patterns. Here too, the guidance I received was precious.

 

It is important for me to emphasize that these experiences were always had with lots of support from my coach in terms of preparation and integration. None of this would have happened in this way without this support. Mushrooms simply cannot be taken casually and expect these results; what's more, one risks being retraumatized.  

 

In conclusion, psilocybin mushrooms have been a fantastic tool of nervous system exploration for me, and have allowed me to reach states of neuromuscular homeostasis that would have otherwise been impossible. They have also helped me embark on an invaluable journey of psycho-emotional healing. The next steps for me now are to work on stabilizing the neuro-muscular progress I can accomplish with the mushrooms by further correcting my occlusion and cranial strains. 

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(Anonymous)