Why Dystonia Gets Worse Around People: The Two Levels of Social Tension and How to Heal
May 11, 2026
This article is based on a video originally published on the Hope for Dystonia YouTube channel.
It is mysterious to some why sometimes dystonia seems to get worse when we're around people.
Actually, it makes perfect sense why this happens.
Today I want to help you understand why—and give you some guidelines for how you can work with this and help your nervous system learn that this is not necessary.
There are different levels to this. Different ways we can get agitated around people, and different ways this can lead to spasms and involuntary movements becoming stronger.
Watch the Full Video
Why Dystonia Often Gets Worse Around People
Level One: Self-Consciousness About Symptoms
The first level is something more superficial—something newer. It's the kind of nervousness that comes along when we're around people and we're self-conscious about our symptoms.
This Developed After Dystonia
This is something that developed after the dystonia. It's what we feel when we think people are judging us:
- Why is their head turned that way?
- Why does their face do funny things?
- Why don't their wrists cooperate when they're playing golf?
The Self-Monitoring Cycle
We have this self-monitoring. We're wondering what other people must be thinking of us.
And the more we think of that:
- The more agitated we become
- The more tension we create in the body
- The more our nervous system gets into a bracing and guarding pattern
- The more the dystonia symptoms actually get worse
That's Level One.
Level Two: Something Deeper and Older
But there's a second level to this—a deeper one. This is something that developed before the dystonia symptoms became apparent.
This happens for lots of people. Not absolutely everybody, but perhaps quite a few people think this doesn't apply to them when it actually really does.
So keep an open mind with this one.
What We Learned as Children
We often learned as children to be self-conscious—to really monitor:
- Our appearance
- Our mannerisms
- The things we say
- The way we look
We learned to do this because sometimes the cost of not conforming to how people expected us to behave, to look, to speak, was really high.
The Neurodivergent Connection
This can apply to all kinds of people. We all go through challenging times as children sometimes.
But what is especially relevant is that a lot of individuals with dystonia have a pattern of neurodivergence.
I have several videos on the topic of dystonia and neurodivergence—things no one really talks about. But really, the dystonic brain is a brain that is a bit neurodivergent by definition. It adapts to inputs very easily. It learns really easily.
This neurodivergent brain maybe doesn't behave in the ways that others expect. So a lot of us with dystonia learned to mask our natural ways of being in order to become acceptable to others.
The Story in Our Heads
We have this story in our heads that:
- We are too much
- Or not enough
- There is something fundamentally wrong and broken about us
This applies to a lot of us—whether we identify with the neurodivergent label or not.
Many Paths to the Same Pattern
Sometimes we're just really sensitive individuals, and we learned that other people might react poorly to our sensitivity. We think that we are "too much."
Or maybe we have some aspect of diversity—maybe we are LGBTQ—and we learned that it's dangerous to express ourselves in a way that feels natural and authentic.
Whatever the reason:
- A hostile, bullying environment
- Difficult parents for whom love was always conditional
- Homophobia
- The neurodivergent piece and the masking that comes with it
A lot of us learned that we need to constantly stay on guard. That we constantly need to be on the lookout for danger.
How We "Avoid" Danger
The way we avoid danger is by:
- Contracting
- Guarding
- Really making sure that we behave and look a certain way
That is exhausting. It's really stressful.
It adds a layer of tension in the nervous system that is always there in the background—and can become overwhelming.
Social Anxiety or "Just How I Am"?
Often this level of monitoring and tension leads to something we sometimes recognize as social anxiety.
But for others, it doesn't seem to merit a label because we just think: "That's how I am. I'm a bit of a nervous person. I'm a shy person. I'm someone who tends to get a bit tense around social situations."
All of that may be true—and there is a deeper root to this.
There are ways in which, at some point, this tension and guarding was adaptive. It made sense in a certain way.
Your Body Is Talking to You
If we are dealing with dystonia and we notice that our symptoms get worse around people, it's our body's way of telling us something:
"Hey, something's gotta change here. We can't go on with this pattern of constant tension and constant fear around others."
"I am having a hard time keeping it together here. I am hurting."
"I need you to move from a pattern of suppression—of trying to white-knuckle through situations that feel difficult—to a pattern of self-compassion and love."
"I need you to listen to the wounds that are within, and the ways in which you don't think you are good enough."
"I need you to bring love to those parts of you that are hurt in these ways—so that we can try a new way of being us."
"So that we can try showing up knowing that we're okay and knowing that we have nothing to prove."
The Shift: From Proving to Being
This is a shift that seems simple. You might think you could just decide to do it—maybe have a few affirmations you repeat in the morning or say in front of the mirror.
But it's deeper than that.
This is really at the heart of the Hope for Dystonia Self-Healers Academy. It's also at the heart of so many recovery stories you'll read in the testimonials.
What the Work Actually Is
What I'm talking about is learning to bring love right where it hurts—specifically around self-worth and self-esteem.
This is crucial because so many of us have learned to stay in a state of guarding, monitoring what others might be thinking of us, because we never got to develop a sense of self-worth and self-esteem that were solid enough and stable enough.
Why Self-Worth Didn't Develop
This is because love was conditional.
We always had to prove something to someone in order to earn basic emotional safety.
This Can Change—Even as Adults
We can learn to speak to the little one within us and say:
"Hey darling, I get it 100%. I get why this is so stressful for you. I get why you feel like you need to work so hard to earn approval."
"I know why the nervous system gets so warmed up, and it makes perfect sense."
"And I am here to tell you that I see you. I see your goodness. And you don't have to prove anything at all to me."
The Words That Heal
You are good enough exactly as you are.
You are good enough exactly with:
- Your characteristics
- Your beautiful qualities
- And the things you consider flaws
You are good enough with:
- The things you already do well
- And the things you are still learning how to do
You are good with:
- Your successes
- And your failures
None of that ever changes how much I love you, how much I care about you.
None of that changes the fact that I see you. I see your goodness. I see your good heart.
An Invitation to Feel
I invite you actually to let this percolate and land a little bit, right this moment.
Notice what that does for you:
- Do you feel like this is easy to hear?
- Do you feel that this is difficult to hear—that there is something within you that says "nah, please stay away"?
- Does it feel like this is something you've been waiting to hear?
Whatever the case may be, the way you respond to this tells you something about how your nervous system has learned to function around self-esteem and self-worth.
What Actually Creates Change
This is really at the heart of the Academy. It's one of the main things we work on.
Once we learn—and really internalize through:
- Practice
- Specific, targeted meditations
- Relational work with others
Once we really learn that it is okay to be exactly as we are—that we are good enough, that we can exist without having to prove anything to others—then something can really shift.
Then the nervous system can begin to let go of the guarding.
Then the nervous system can see that: "Yes, I can be around others and stay relaxed. My nervous system doesn't have to organize itself in a pattern of fear and guarding in order to keep me safe."
What It Takes
This takes:
- Practice
- Guidance
- A community that can help you do all of this
This is why the Academy exists. And it is 100% something you can do.
The Two Levels Summarized
Level One: Self-Consciousness About Symptoms (Newer)
What it is: Nervousness about being judged for visible dystonia symptoms
When it developed: After dystonia symptoms appeared
The cycle:
- Around people → self-monitoring → "What are they thinking?"
- → Agitation → more tension → more guarding
- → Worse dystonia symptoms
Level Two: Deep Social Guarding (Older, Deeper)
What it is: Learned pattern of constant vigilance and self-monitoring to avoid rejection/danger
When it developed: Childhood, before dystonia symptoms
Possible roots:
- Neurodivergence and masking
- Conditional love from parents
- Hostile/bullying environment
- Being "too much" or "not enough"
- LGBTQ identity in unsafe environment
- High sensitivity in non-accepting environment
The pattern:
- Constant guarding → layer of background tension
- → Exhaustion → overwhelm
- → Social anxiety or "just who I am"
- → Dystonia symptoms worsen around people
The Path to Healing
Step 1: Recognize Which Level Is Active
Are you dealing with Level One (self-consciousness about symptoms), Level Two (deep social guarding from childhood), or both?
Step 2: Listen to What Your Body Is Saying
Your symptoms worsening around people is a message: "Something needs to change. Move from suppression to self-compassion."
Step 3: Address the Self-Worth Wound
This isn't about affirmations. It's about genuinely bringing love to the parts that never felt good enough, that learned to guard and monitor.
Step 4: Learn to Be Without Proving
Through practice, targeted meditations, and relational work, internalize that you are okay exactly as you are—with nothing to prove.
Step 5: Let the Nervous System Relax
As self-worth becomes solid and stable, the nervous system can let go of guarding. You can be around others and stay relaxed.
Your Next Step: The Recovery Roadmap
If this understanding of the social aspects of dystonia resonates—if you recognize Level One, Level Two, or both in yourself—we invite you to download the Hope for Dystonia Recovery Roadmap.
This free resource provides:
- The complete framework for understanding dystonia as a learned pattern
- How self-worth and self-esteem connect to nervous system guarding
- The path from suppression to self-compassion
- Introduction to the Self-Healers Academy approach
- Tools for bringing love where it hurts
Download Your Free Recovery Roadmap →
This is life-changing information that will help you reframe what you're going through and find your agency and personal power.
Related Resources
We've touched on a bunch of really important topics in this article. On the Hope for Dystonia YouTube channel, there's plenty more on each topic:
- Neuroplasticity — How the brain learns and can relearn
- Trauma — How early experiences shape nervous system patterns
- Neurodivergence — The connection between neurodivergent brains and dystonia
- Self-Compassion — The practice of bringing love where it hurts
Final Thoughts: You Are Good Enough
Why does dystonia get worse around people?
Because at some level—whether the newer level of symptom self-consciousness or the deeper level of lifelong social guarding—your nervous system learned that people are dangerous.
That you need to monitor, guard, contract, and prove in order to be safe.
This can change.
Not through willpower or affirmations, but through genuinely learning—in your body, through practice and relational work—that you are good enough exactly as you are.
With your characteristics and your flaws. With your successes and your failures. With everything you already do well and everything you're still learning.
None of it changes your fundamental worth.
When that becomes real—not just a thought but a felt sense—the guarding can release. You can be around others and stay relaxed. Your nervous system can organize around safety instead of fear.
This is at the heart of what we do in the Academy. And it's absolutely something you can do too.
Ready to bring love where it hurts and let your nervous system learn that it's safe to be you? Download the free Hope for Dystonia Recovery Roadmap and discover the framework that makes lasting change possible.
